Chapter 11

Life Beyond

Angel was alone, sprawled in one of the two chairs that furnished this basement room. He had his habitual glass of whiskey in his hand as he sat without moving, just thinking. Thinking about that arrogant English prick. His brow creased, he could smell him. Why the hell wouldn't he just go away?

"Leave me alone, Spike." He said without looking up from his drink. Never know, perhaps it would work this time. He could almost hear Spike laughing at him.

"Why not? Why won't you leave?" Angel demanded. "Your presence is anathema to me."

Angel imagined Spike raising an eyebrow at him mockingly.

"You swore you trusted me! You should have told me what you were going to do. What sort of weird trust is that? All games and show, no substance." He raised his alcohol hazed eyes and repeated, "No substance."

The music played in the background. It was Spike's music. It was angry, hurting, tearing music. Spike was right. He liked it.

"Why did you leave?" He demanded angrily.

The bitter sweet voice crooned out the lyrics: 'I will let you down. I will make you hurt.'

Angel sometimes thought he was going slightly mad. The room was empty. There was no Spike, except for the shadow woven from a lingering scent, overpowering grief and delusive imagination. Illusion. No mocking tones. No raised eyebrow. Just this...hurt.

It had been a week. A week filled with self recrimination and guilt, Wesley, Fred, Andrew, Giles and Buffy, with Angel the solid strength at their centre, reassuring them. A rock that they leant upon. Eventually he could stand it no longer and retreated here, to their home, letting the warm presence wrap around him. He would immerse himself in the place, trying to find a piece of Spike in the comfort offered. Slowly the sense of Spike would come to him until he thought he could hear faint echoes of laughter, a voice accusing him of wallowing. Yeah, that sounded like Spike. He sighed, this was his life. A few hours of consolation, to remember what had almost been, before the whole routine began again.

At work nothing broke through his stoic, calm, businesslike exterior. What he was working on was too important. He worked and he trained with the slayers until his body was so weary even his mind stilled. He called Nina and spent his evenings with her, another escape, a time without a single coherent thought in his head. It wasn't perfect; it .wasn't some high ideal of love. It was comfort snatched at, a brief respite. Then there was this place, part comfort and part pain. As Spike had promised, it was somewhere he could be himself for a few hours and to hell with the rest of the world. If he was alive at the end of all this, he might just come back here, bury himself in the earth and let the place look after him for a millennia or so.

He knew he was closing down. Shutting people out but he couldn't think how to fix it. It was as if he'd forgotten how to care. The more days that passed the higher he built his walls. Until one day, opening the door into Wesley's office he heard a voice behind him say "Dad?"

He turned to see Connor staring right at him.

Such love and familiarity in his voice, unlike anything he'd ever heard from his petulant, angry son before. He could feel those walls crumbling around him. He was about to say something, when Connor brushed passed him into Wesley's office and said to the man sitting there, "Dad? What's going on?"

Angel looked at Wesley with a similar query written on his face.

Wesley took him to one side and explained, the boy seemed to have extraordinary powers and his parents were concerned.

"We're not taking this case."

"But isn't that what we're here for, to help people like them?"

"We're too busy for this sort of stuff, Wes."

Wesley's mouth tightened at the obvious dismissal.

But Angel couldn't help his curiosity and as the family left he followed behind. Their SUV pulled in and, to his consternation, demons immediately began attacking the family, hauling them bodily from the vehicle. Connor was too unaware of his own strength. Each well delivered blow out was accompanied by a shout of astonishment. Angel flew across to help him, taking out his pent up fury in a series of punches and kicks, which sent his opponents reeling, finally lifting the last demon above his head and sending him crashing to the ground.

Angel realised that Connor was looking at him in awe. He gave a half embarrassed grin, trying not to be too obvious as he basked in his son's approval and undisguised adulation.

"It's nothing. I do this sort of thing everyday." He gave a half shrug.

The look on Connor's face, the warmth in his eyes was more than he could ever have hoped for. Connor rushed to help his surrogate parents but it was ok. It was enough. Angel helped them back to Wolfram and Hart and called Wesley to let him know they were taking this case after all.

Together they identified the attacking demons as being the henchmen of Cyvus Vail, a serious power in the demon world.

"He's not trying to remain anonymous; he's using them as a calling card."

"Then I'm going calling." Angel rose and shrugged into his jacket.

"Angel! He might be trying to bait you. At least take back up."

"I said I'd take care of it, Wes. Drop it!"

Wesley looked after him in hurt and confusion, there was something strange going on. He left the boy with his parents, whilst he contacted Fred, Gunn and Lorne. They needed to research this Cyvus Vail, give Angel some additional backup even if he thought he didn't need it.

"The Company used him for some fairly serious mojo." Lorne commented as he looked through the Firm's accounts. "Specialised in memory restructures, mind control and temporal shifts. Oh my!"

"Lorne?" Fred asked.

"Take a look." Lorne said passing the accounts over.

Fred and Wesley pored over them.

"All those sorcerers, all at the same time."

"Some sort of reality shift?" Fred suggested.

"Yes, and look at the date."

Lorne nodded. "The day we took over Wolfram and Hart."

"Uh guys you might want to look at this." Gunn let a piece of parchment drift to the desk in front of them.

They all stared in disbelief at a contract. It also bore their Wolfram and Hart start date, and had been signed in blood by Angel himself.

-

Angel returned in a sombre mood. For his son to keep this shiny, happy existence, Vail demanded that Connor killed Sahjahn, an extremely powerful demon. The sorcerer was responsible for creating Connor's new life and had a cube, which once broken would return the original memories together with the anguish and pain that marred his beautiful son. Angel spoke to Connor and explained that it was prophesised he would kill the demon Sahjahn and this was the sorcerer's price for leaving them in peace.

"So I kill this demon to protect my family?" he asked.

Angel thought about it and then nodded. It was true, if he didn't defeat the demon then his illusion of 'family' would melt away.

"Okay. I'll do it." Angel had expected no less from this boy.

He gave him some brief lessons. It worried him. Connor no longer had the basic battle skills he'd once possessed. All the way back to Vail he kept giving additional advice, anything that might swing the fight. Sure, it was prophesised that his son would win, but Angel no longer had faith in such things.

He hoped that he might be able to help, but immediately the boy entered the room containing the demon, a barrier was dropped into place. Angel watched in frustration, his boy seemed no match and as he took a hit Angel gave into instinct and rushed the barrier.

Cyvus tutted at him as he rebounded to the floor. "Sorry, not your fight."

"Open the doorway. Right. Now."

The sorcerer held the memory cube out threateningly. "There's no need to bring back the past if we don't have to."

Wesley, Fred and Gunn had easily entered the sorcerer's dwelling. Angel had helpfully killed all the guards and they listened to this exchange from the shadows.

"The past is in the cube." Wesley whispered. "I'll go for that. You two know what to do."

On his signal they rushed in. Wesley knocked the cube from the old demon's hand and caught it before it hit the floor, Gunn covered Angel with a version of Fred's tranquillizer gun and whilst Vail was distracted following the fate of the cube, Fred pressed a needle to his neck and watched as he collapsed.

Wesley looked at the yellow cube. "Is this your 30 pieces of silver?" He wondered.

"Wes..."

"For selling us out. Is this your payment?"

"Wesley...don't. You don't understand." He looked towards where Connor was still battling away. "He's my son."

"You're son? Everything that's happened at Wolfram and Hart...Illyria...Spike? Was Spike the price? Did you swap him for your son?"

Angel felt the accusation as a physical pain; the anguish was reflected in his tortured eyes.

"Wes. No."

"I've seen the contract. You've altered reality. Why are you so afraid of this cube? Will it undo everything that has happened?"

"Trust me."

"I can't." Wesley replied sadly and smashed the cube. At the same moment his carefully constructed world crashed around him.

Wesley sank back in horror.

"I'm...sorry." His voice sounded harsh as he forced the words from his constricted throat.

Fred looked at him as if she didn't know him. "You took his son."

Gunn backed away from Angel shaking his head.

Angel watched them and then fearfully swung back to where Connor was fighting for his life. How would the returning memories affect him? Suddenly the boy's were more on par with the demon. It was Connor who finally swung the axe, cleanly chopping the demon's head off. The barrier dropped between them and Angel approached his son tentatively.

He looked a little confused and then grinned.

"Whoa. Went a little crazy there for a minute."

"You're ok?"

"Yeah. Just want to get back to my parents."

"Oh. Right." Angel looked at him in confusion, wondering how he remained unaffected; there was no sign that he remembered anything at all.

They returned to Wolfram and Hart in silence.

Angel walked his son back to his other life.

-

"There are two sets of memories." Wesley said softly to Fred. "Those that happened and those that are fabricated. It's difficult to tell which are which."

Fred hugged him. "Push reality out of your head. Angel bought our new memories for a reason. Accept them as a gift."

"To hide from the truth?" Wesley asked.

Fred ran her fingers soothingly through his hair.

"Not to hide, to help endure it."

"Am I different?"

"Perhaps, but you're still my Wes."

-

Angel reluctantly said goodbye to his son.

"Do you really have to leave, uh right now, I mean?"

"Yeah. Its mum and dad, they don't feel comfortable here. And I do what I can to protect my family." He looked Angel in the eye. "I learnt that from my dad."

Angel found himself swelling with pride at that ambiguous statement, hoping it had the meaning he'd imbued it with.

He watched him disappear, then took a deep breath and walked into Wesley's office.

"What made you think I'd trade Spike?" He asked without any preamble.

"I didn't." Wesley replied quietly. "Not really. I was just looking for an excuse...a reason why it wasn't my fault. I didn't find the answer for him. He was depending on me and I let him down. I didn't want it to be my fault."

"No one's fault, Wes. Some things are just written. From the moment Illyria was released it was always going to be one of us - if not him then Fred or Buffy or me. He made his own choice."

"He didn't want to die. He wanted an answer, he had plans...you had plans."

Angel managed to choke down his own bitterness.

"Yeah, we had plans. What should I do? Kick my feet against the ground, throw back my head and howl? We're not children, we know life isn't fair. There aren't any answers when we ask 'why?' Its life that's all."

"I'm sorry."

Angel nodded and asked, "Do you trust me now?"

Wesley nodded. "If it still means anything to you at all, I trust you."

"Maybe your first instincts were right, perhaps you shouldn't."

Angel left, his mind mulling over a germ of an idea. Wesley's distrust had given him inspiration. He made contact with the Sathari and gave the assassins their instructions.

"Drogyn knows too much about my involvement in Illyria's death and the presentation of the sacrifice. Cover it up. Kill him."

-

The days passed and Angel moved on with his plan. When Harmony buzzed through to say that Buffy was waiting to see him, he couldn't say he was surprised.

"Buffy. What can I do for you?" He asked lounging back, looking for all the world like the corporate success he was.

Buffy settled uncomfortably in the chair opposite the desk.

"You know you said that I was vision-girl now?"

"Yeah. How's that working out for you? Keeping you and the other slayers busy?"

"What? No! What made you say...I mean you're the champion, I'd tell you."

"So is this what you're here for? To give me an update?"

"No. I'm here to say...we think he' still alive."

Angel froze.

"You had a vision?"

"No. That's the point. None. Not one single mind-shattering message from the Powers. I mean, not even a 'hi, nice to have you on board' memo."

Angel appeared to relax again.

"He's gone, Buffy."

"Willow said that this seer power doesn't just poof out of existence. He chose me, it should have come to me, it didn't. Ergo he's out there somewhere."

"Ergo?"

"Yes, ergo. Giles said it, so it must be right and stop being all distractive vamp, because my new improved word power? So not the issue."

"Ok. To be frank." He gave a derisory little laugh and shook his head at her idiocy, "you're deluding yourself. I know how much you want it to be true but its not. If he were still here I would know. It's demonic, supernatural, it's in the blood. I would know."

"So you're not going to help me to look for him?"

"I don't know what to say, Buff. The only part of him left that I can sense is the piece of himself he gave to our home. At the risk of falling into a dead parrot sketch, he's gone. Dead. Deceased."

"Are you making a joke? About his death?"

"Why not, he probably would if he were here. Which he's not."

Buffy looked hurt and Angel sighed.

"It's for your own good, Buffy. We mourn and we go on."

"Did you mourn? Really, did you even mourn? One tear? One sad thought?"

Angel clamped down hard on emotions that were trying to break through. Instead he gave a grin and spread his arms expansively.

"What can I say? Vampire. Not really a morning person."

"Oh. Right. A pun. One day, Angel, you'll tell me exactly what's going on inside your head, because at the moment? I've no idea who I'm talking to."

"Same as I ever was, Buff."

"No. Really not." She turned and left his office a small crease between her brows.

He sat back. He wanted to get back to the house and just be himself, but he was picking up momentum and the show must go on -

Wesley and Fred were researching Boretz demons. Its victims had been found in an abandoned amusement park. Wesley was trying to concentrate but his mind kept wandering back to Angel's reaction to the latest deaths. "It's small stuff, Wes. A statistic. Don't sweat it."

When had Angel started viewing people as statistics and death as small stuff?

As he looked blankly at the page describing the Boretz the close set print began to fade before his eyes. A new message appeared, 'you're searching in the wrong place', this too faded and was replaced by a symbol. A circle with 8 spikes protruding from it. He was about to call to Fred but when he looked down the book, once again, revealed nothing more than mundane Boretz facts.

Wes tore off a sheet of paper and quickly made a drawing of the symbol whilst it was still fresh in his mind. He spotted Gunn passing and waved him in.

"Are either of you familiar with this?" He asked showing them his sketch.

They both shook their heads.

"No." Fred replied. "Why? Do you think it's important?"

Wesley felt strangely reluctant to talk about it. The message had appeared in such an enigmatic way, as though trying to avoid detection.

"I'm not sure. Possibly." He took the paper and pocketed it out of sight.

Fred noticed that Gunn was looking a little distressed. "Charles? Is everything ok?"

"Yes. Great. Except Angel has just given away a baby to be raised by the Fell Brethren for ritual sacrifice. I mean, am I missing something? Have we suddenly acquired a new motto? 'Babies R Us, your one stop shop for all your sacrificial needs?' How about a badge? 'Baby slaughter? Ask me how'." He threw himself into a chair and looked at them with troubled eyes waiting for answers.

But they had none.

Gunn looked bewildered and instead turned his attention to the task in hand. He noticed Wesley's book.

"Is that the data on the Boretz-dude? What are we dealing with?"

"A pungent, vicious demon with a poisonous bite. They blend in with transients and prey on them."

"Charming. What did the Boss say?"

"Angel was...busy. It'll be down to us to take it out."

"Busy? What is it with him? I trust him, guys. But he's seriously starting to hack me off. He's behaving like..."

"A power mad megalomaniac?" Lorne asked from the doorway. He wandered in obviously agitated.

"He's cut loose six of my clients. I've been talking them down from ledges and out of pill bottles. Valium sales have trebled whilst everyone waits to hear who is next on his hit list."

"Man. This is not good. It's not that he doesn't care for the little people, its that he doesn't even see them."

"You're wrong." Wesley replied. "A man like Angel doesn't suddenly stop caring."

"Really? You've got to look at the evidence, Wes. I think Spike's death has twisted him."

"You're wrong. If he's behaving like this, there's a reason and the worse he behaves the more important it must be."

"Alright. If that's the case we'll be there for him but I hope he let's us in on the secret soon because I can't take much more of this shit."

"Nicely put. Angelcakes maybe sane but he's driving me demented." Lorne agreed and groaned as his mobile rang. "Excuse me..."

He retreated from the room, "Darling, how wonderful... No...no. Everything is fine my little Poptart. Yes, I swear..."

Gunn also retreated to his own office, leaving Wesley and Fred alone.

"So, dinner tonight?" Fred asked.

"Before or after our demon slaughter?"

"Oh after. A spot of violence before dinner to work up an appetite." She snuggled into him slightly.

Wesley smiled. "You sounded like him."

"I know. I wanna remember. Remember all his little ways. We let him down so badly..."

"Angel said some things are written."

"Buffy thinks he's still alive, well you know, not alive exactly..."

Wesley smiled. "Yes. Alive. He was the most alive person I'd ever met. Poor Buffy, it's been hard for her accept."

He gave Fred a smile. "So do you want to take his favourite axe tonight?"

"I'm thinking no." She grinned. "Not so useful if you can't lift the dang thing off the ground."

-

"Have you got something of his?" Willow asked.

"Yeah, I looked down in his old room." Buffy produced a T-shirt, a crumpled pack of cigarettes and a book of matches.

"Ok. The T-shirt is probably the most personal item, we'll use that."

She spread a map of the world in front of them.

"I've used this spell before to locate demons, this time I just use Spike's possessions to attune it to him, then we sprinkle the dust on the map and a light appears wherever he is." She gave Buffy a reassuring smile. "If he's out there we'll find him."

They took a jar each and began to cast the dust evenly over the map, until it was completely covered.

"It's not working."

Willow looked at her in concern.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. It is working. Angel was right, he's really gone."

"Oh." Buffy turned away. "I was so sure."

"I know you were, sweetie."

"Can't you bring him back?" She pleaded.

"Buffy! I can't. I don't dare go there again."

"I know, I didn't mean it really. Can you do a search for him? I mean, I was in heaven but supposing he's trapped somewhere...not so pleasant."

"And if he is, what can we do?"

"Go to hell and get him out?"

"I don't think it works like that. It's not like springing someone from jail."

"Will you look? I need to know...even if there's nothing I can do about it."

"Give me some time, I'll look into it."

-

Gunn pointed at the ground to what appeared to be a trail of fresh blood.

"Right. He must be close." A noise made them all jump and a man emerged from the darkness.

"Drogyn?" Gunn asked in surprise.

He was beaten and bloodied.

"I was looking for you." Drogyn replied. "But I was attacked by a Boretz. Its dead now."

"Man. Was it the Boretz that did this to you?"

Drogyn shook his head.

"Then who?"

Drogyn looked at them sadly. "It was Angel."

They stared back in disbelief.

"I was attacked by Sathri assassins. When I overpowered them and demanded to know who had sent them they told me it was Angel."

"They lied." Gunn replied.

"Believe me no one lies when they're at the mercy of my wrath. They said there was a secret to do with his involvement in Illyria's escape. Before he died the assassin said something about a sacrifice, someone trusted and dear. I was too close to finding the truth, therefore he ordered my death. "

"Then you lie." Wesley said coldly.

"Wes. This is Drogyn. Battlebrand. He can't lie." Gunn said.

"Battlebrand? I've heard of you. Demonbane. Truthsayer. Given eternal youth a thousand years ago?"

Drogyn nodded.

"And you believe that Angel is implicated in Spike's death?"

Fred was resolute. "I don't believe he'd hurt Spike."

"I'm sorry, this is painful for you, but I think it was more random than that. He didn't specify who the sacrifice was, but believed it would be one of you." Drogyn replied.

They were silent until Wesley finally said, "We need to find some answers."

-

Angel arrived for his morning session with the slayers. Entering the training room he noticed there was an unusual air of hushed expectancy. He ignored it, he wasn't interested. He was here for a single purpose, to fulfil a commitment that Spike had arranged for him. They weren't his slayers; he had no affection for them, no emotional ties. He wasn't even sure if he could recall their names. Spike depended on him to look after them, tutor them, offer some protection, so that's what he was doing.

"Into the first position." He ordered as they began their Tai Chi warm up. The girls were hesitant and Angel realised, however much he wished to avoid personal contact he was going to have to deal with it. It looked like the big girl, Erica, had been nominated as spokesperson; she was the one who stepped forward from the group. She was nervous and so naturally became somewhat aggressive to compensate.

"Angel. Myself and the slayers want to talk to you before we go any further."

"There's nothing to talk about. I teach. I go."

"We know. We understand you want nothing from us, but in the end we're on the same side."

"Are we? You know nothing about me." Angel pointed out.

"No. But we're not stupid. We hear talk."

"Ah. I see. You've heard the rumours and you no longer trust me?" He should have expected this.

"No. That's not it. We just wanted you to know; when you need us we'll be here, no matter how anyone else feels."

"You're putting yourselves in my hands! What is this stupidity?"

They began to fidget slightly but Erica remained unmoved.

"Spike claimed us. It meant something, to us and to him. We don't know you, but we knew him, and he had absolute faith in you. Yes, we're putting ourselves in your hands. We don't want you to claim us. The eight of us here, we'll always be his. Instead we're claiming you." She looked at the others and one or two nodded at her in encouragement.

"We hear the rumours; you arranged Spike's death for your own advancement." She shook her head in disbelief and continued, "When you need us, we'll be there to step in and pull you from danger, Angel. Just as he always did for us."

Angel was stunned. Could they really be that naïve? He decided to allow Angelus to show through, perhaps they would be more cautious as to whom they trusted in future. They all noticed the change in stance and immediately their muscles tensed and their posture denoted battle readiness.

He grinned at them, a powerful predator surveying his prey.

"And what makes you think I didn't kill my idiot childe?" He asked his eyes gleaming wickedly.

"You defended him when he became helpless, defended him, even from us." She looked him in the eyes. "One day, Angelus, we will be forced to overpower you, defeat you. But know this; we respect you for protecting him, our leader, and will never doubt your allegiance to him or your love for him."

Angelus faded away under the onslaught of words and emotions and Angel looked at the floor, needing time to collect himself.

"We don't want words from you or any sort of answer. We were just letting you know how things stand."

She nodded at the others and they took their places.

When Angel next looked up they were all holding position one.

Angel felt an unexpected surge of affection. Spike was right, they were a counterbalance to Wolfram and Hart. He would be proud of them.

-

They stood on the other side of the brick wall that marked the boundary of Angel's property.

"Why are we doing this, Buffy? How will it affect anything?"

"If he's watching us from somewhere Willow, I need him to know we care enough to make the attempt. I worry about where he is now, he deserves another chance."

"If he is in hell, what have we achieved?"

"Somehow he'll know we were concerned enough, loved him enough, to do this."

Willow was reluctant but she understood love and loss and the burning need to do something. Anything.

"Ok Buffy. We'll do it."

Buffy leapt on to the high wall surrounding Angel's home. Willow whispered something and suddenly she was there next to her friend. They lowered themselves to the other side.

Willow stopped; the atmosphere was oppressive.

"Oh. How awful."

Buffy immediately tensed and glanced around. "What is it?"

"You know you accused Angel of not mourning? Think he was doing it in private."

"Are you sure? Because he was doing a good impression of the not caring."

"Can't you feel it?" Willow's eyes were wet as she turned to the slayer. "I can hardly move. This place is choked with sorrow."

"What game is he playing? Why is he trying to convince us all he doesn't give a damn?"

"I don't know. But let's hurry up. I wish we could do this someplace else. Being here, it's intrusive."

"Ok. What next?"

"This is the only place where we know Spike's essence currently exists. It calls to him, yearns towards him, wherever he is. I told them it was mutual ownership but it's more of an indestructible link. He'll always gravitate back here and the part that is here is constantly pulled towards him. His blood, his soul. Do you know how difficult it was to extract that tiny bit of spark from his corporeal form? His soul has now been bound to his body by such arcane magicks the binding is immutable."

She pulled out a crystal. "I'll use this as a focus and meditate, try to separate his essence from Angel's and then let it pull me to wherever he is now."

"What do you want me to do?"

"You're going to be my anchor. If I look distressed or collapse, break the crystal. Bring me back."

"Is it dangerous for you?"

"I'm probably going to a hell dimension, Buffy. I've heard that it's no picnic. No little sandwiches and cups of juice, probably not even the ants that mess up the picnic."

"Right, got it. Just be careful. Please."

Willow nodded and sat down cross legged in the grass, placing the crystal in front of her and looking into it intently. It gradually elevated until it was eye-level with her. Then it started a slow spin, reflecting sunlight in flashing darts and rays, illuminating aspects of the garden in small flickers and quick glints of pure light.

"Ok. You didn't tell me that would happen."

Buffy had the feeling that it was searching for something. Perhaps seeking out that one piece of himself that Spike had left here. She tried to concentrate, wondering if there was enough of him here to make him recognisable as an entity. Her breathing evened out as she let herself relax and just feel. All that hit her was that feeling of sadness and grief. It clogged her throat, she was drowning in it and it took some effort to force herself back. Not why she was here. She had to stay alert and watch out for Willow.

Willow still looked calm and focused but with an air of intense concentration. Buffy hoped she was doing the right thing. She knew that time could move differently in other dimensions, supposing Willow had already spent a month in hell before she could even show an expression of distress in this one? She was on tenterhooks, carefully watching her friend's face for any change in expression.

Suddenly Willow gasped. Buffy threw herself at the crystal and crushed it against a stone.

"Willow? Are you alright?"

She had dropped back in exhaustion.

"I'm sorry Wills...I should never have asked you..."

Willow slowly sat back up and there was such an expression of shock in her eyes that Buffy was almost too terrified to ask.

"Where were you? Its ok Willow, I won't do anything stupid. Just tell me...I need to know...what hell dimension is he in?"

Willow's face was drawn into a mask of confusion.

"London." She replied.

"London! We're searching through hell for him, whilst he's decided to play tourist, take in a show, a bit of shopping? I'm going to drag him back by the roots of his stupid blonde hair."

Willow just looked puzzled.

"How can this be?" Buffy asked. "We've searched our world before and he wasn't here. I mean, London is part of this world, right?"

"I don't understand. I swear that spell with the map worked, he just wasn't there and don't forget Angel believes he's dead. The grief here can't be faked."

Buffy agreed and shivered as she once again sensed the despondency.

"How good was this soul-to-soul search and find thingy you did?"

"It seemed accurate but how can both answers be right? How can he be here and not here?"

"That's what I want to find out. Did it pinpoint a location? Could we travel to London and find the source of this Spike essence?"

"I think so. It's fairly precise, particularly when he's so close."

"Close?" Buffy queried.

"I mean he's in this dimension. Which you know, a big plus when trying to locate someone."

"I want to find him."

"If we told Angel he might lend us a jet."

"The jet sounds good but I don't think we should tell him. If he's pretending to be unfazed by Spike's death then it must be important. He's using it as a piece in some bigger game. That means we need to keep this secret. If it becomes common knowledge that he's still alive then it might throw the whole game for Angel."

Willow thought about it.

"You know he's deliberately trying to turn people against him. I think he's pretending to be evil and the more beleaguered he is the more believable it becomes. Supposing that's how he's using Spike's death, to make the Senior Partners believe he's one of them?"

"It would be a good strategy. Make them believe he's evil and infiltrate the inner circle to bring them down. And if they're watching us then he needs us to have believable reactions, which is why he's deliberately creating hostilities. We need to help him, support him whatever he's doing. We'll have to pretend that we believe he's all with the evilness. Willow are we safe talking here? I know you said it was created to protect Angel and Spike but will anyone be able to hear us."

"No. This place has its own identity and acertain intelligence in its protectiveness. Nothing that would be harmful to either of them will happen here."

"So we don't talk of this outside these boundaries, unless you've warded us somehow. Now we go to London. So how can we be hostile to Angel and still wangle a jet out of him?"

"How about we miss Angel out altogether and go through Wesley? I mean we won't tell him anything, just fabricate some emergency."

"Sounds like a plan. Daphne and Velma investigating the mystery of the appearance of the disappearing vampire."

She pressed the button that operated the automatic gate.

"Give scriptwriting a miss, Buff. I mean, descriptive," Willow said trying to point out the positive, "but lacking a certain snappiness. It's buzz- less."

"Does it always have to be about buzz and sound bytes? Perhaps the world is ready for buzzlessness?"

"Insomniacs maybe."

"When I made my slayer-in-command speeches last year I never went for the buzz. More the 'you're going to die horribly' shock value...you're going to have a go at my oratory skills next, aren't you?"

Willow nodded seriously

Buffy attempted to redeem herself. "I have made some killer puns but my audience does tend to die on me..."

The two girls retreated from the garden engaged in artless conversation, guaranteed to confuse any potential listener not Sunnydale born and bred.

-

Angel was getting worse. He cut them dead because he was meeting a corrupt senator. Virgin's blood was being found for the senator's bodyguard, whilst Angel agreed to a campaign to make a paedophile from a relatively honest opponent. Gunn was despairing. Wesley was beginning to once again question where his loyalties should lie and how far they could be stretched.

They finally cornered him in his office. They listened to his speech, it was a good speech. They were in business and they were aiming to win. Angel had shaken his head at their incomprehension. It was about power. The only way he could really affect anything was by amassing global power and sometimes they had to overlook the small stuff for the greater aim Sacrifices needed to be made. Sacrifices like Spike? Gunn had asked. Angel replied that he'd loved Spike. But they were all intensely aware that it didn't answer the question.

Wesley was disheartened and returned to his apartment where Drogyn was being held. His heart began to thump in panic. He could see ahead of him that his apartment door was flung open. Wesley raced towards it and saw Lorne just coming around, rubbing at a painful looking lump on his head. Drogyn was gone. As Wesley bandaged his head, Lorne explained how they'd been attacked by masked men. That was all he'd seen before they'd knocked him out. Wesley sighed and sent him home to rest. He made himself some tea - it always seemed to help him to think more clearly.

There was a knock at his door. Wesley didn't often get visitors and he was tempted to ignore it but checked through the peephole anyway. To find Buffy and Willow standing outside; a formidable witch and a powerful slayer. An intimidating combination. He decided maybe he ought to open the door.

"Hello. This is a surprise. Is everything alright?"

"Yes. We called in at you office and Harmony said you were here...I hope you don't mind?" Willow asked.

"No, of course not."

Both girls noticed how tired he looked. They hadn't considered the effect that Angel's apparent betrayal would have on his people.

"Wesley? Are you alright?"

He was in quandary and so tired that the simple enquiry opened a floodgate within him. He found himself telling them everything that had happened.

When he finished he admitted that he didn't quite know what he should do next.

"Maybe we could be of help. Supposing we returned to England to find out if there are any secrets hiding in the Deeper Well?"

"Really? No, it's not fair to ask you. Fred and myself..."

"No disrespect, Wes. But if there is something nasty hiding there it may have something protecting it. I may not be the chosen one anymore but I'm still a slayer and Willow is a kick-ass witch..."

"Yes, I see your point. Can I at least arrange the Company jet for you?"

"Well...we wouldn't want to put you to any bother."

"It's the least I can do. But I'm sorry I've been incredibly rude. What did you wish to discuss?"

"Angel." Buffy quickly said. "We've been noticing his strange behaviour and wanted your view, which, you know, you've given us and...that was all we wanted. Wasn't it Willow?"

"Oh. Yes. Sure." She agreed vigorously nodding her head, which aroused even Wesley's suspicions.

"So what are your conclusions?" he asked.

"Ok." Buffy replied. "We didn't really want to discuss this yet but we think Angel is into something big." She looked towards Willow to help her out.

"Yes. Something big and your talk about his attitude to power confirms our suspicions." Angel wanted distrust so they'd help build it for him. "We think he's trying to gain favour with the Senior Partners. We believe Drogyn was correct in his assumptions, Angel was involved in Illyria's escape, leading to Spike's death or if not Spike then one of you."

"He was playing Russian roulette with you. Spike lost."

"Those were his words." Wesley said trying to hide his distress. "We were speaking of Spike and he said one of us was dead the moment Illyria was released. That Spike chose himself. God I can't believe it! Killing one of his trusted lieutenants - if that doesn't get him into The Senior Partner's elite club, then nothing will."

"Exactly." Buffy replied.

"We're not certain; I mean it's just a theory." Willow said.

Wesley pulled his drawing of the symbol from his pocket.

"I don't suppose either of you have come across this before?"

Buffy shook her head.

"No. Do you mind if I examine it?" Willow asked.

Wesley handed it to her. She closed her eyes and passed her hand over it. The paper glowed blue, but the symbol turned a blazing red, it started to flicker and then produced flame, catching the surrounding paper and causing it to smoulder, until it finally caught alight. Willow opened her eyes and quickly dropped it.

"What did you do?" Wesley asked.

"It was just a simple reveal spell." Willow said also rather stunned by the reaction.

"What did you see?" Buffy asked.

Willow closed her eyes again, trying to establish and clarify exactly what she had seen.

"I'm not sure but it was evil and it was pure power. I think it's a symbol of what Angel is looking for. Someone is trying to give us clues."

"We need to get to the Well and try to find something conclusive."

"I'll make arrangements for your journey. When can you leave?"

"We're good, pretty much now." Buffy replied.

"It will take half hour to have it fuelled and ready, if you need to grab any of your things, I'll get a car to take you."

-

Angel couldn't believe it. He'd succeeded. He came to a doorway, which was protected by a wall of vicious flames. He wrapped his coat around him and took a flying leap through the fire. Before him, three robed figures were beating a man who knelt on the ground, a rough cloth sack over his head.

Angel stepped forward and raised the man to his feet, removing the sack that masked his features. Staring back at him was the bloodied and aging face of Drogyn the Eternally Young. He realised he was close to death.

"Angel." He breathed. "Thank you."

Angel vamped out and bit into the Battlebrand's neck. He drank deep of that innocent blood until the last rattling breath faded from the room.

A robed, masked demon stretched out a red hand, glowing with a fiery symbol in its palm and pressed it to Angel's chest, leaving a brand on his perfect skin.

"The circle entwined." The demon intoned

"Embrace this worthy son." Came the response from others in the room.

"The thorn draws blood." The demon chanted.

"The thorn is the power, and the power is absolute." The others replied.

There was ripple of applause.

More robed figures began to emerge from the shadowy corners, throwing back their hoods and removing their garish masks as they warmly congratulated him and welcomed him to the Order of the Black Thorn.

"That was impressive, Big Guy. You've created quite a stir. Everyone is here for your initiation, all wanting to meet the great Angelus." Angel recognised Izzy, his demonic squash partner.

"It's Angel." He replied, carefully taking note of the revealed faces.

The Senior Partners may be the source of evil but these, gathered here, were their power on earth. The Circle of Black Thorn. They were the cogs in the apocalyptic machine. He remembered Spike joking about it almost being apocalypse season and here they were the ones who kept the seasons in motion.

Angel had a good memory for names and faces. As everyone was introduced he logged them away and made sure not one escaped.

-

Once again there was a car waiting for them when they landed. England was basking in warm spring sunshine.

"Do we expect to find anything here?" Willow asked quietly.

"Depends exactly what he's hiding."

Willow immediately understood that Buffy's answer was for whoever might have them under surveillance. After all, they were in a Wolfram and Hart car. They both knew Angel was innocent, which meant, hopefully, no danger at the Well. She nodded her understanding.

When they reached the tree, the entrance was now obvious to whosoever cared to look, blackened and charred around the edges. They entered together and Buffy shivered as she stood on the bridge where Spike had fallen.

"I'm going to work from the ledge. I need to feel the contact with the earth for this search. Also? This bridge wigs me out."

Buffy nodded and kept her vigil on the bridge. There were no visible signs of his struggle with Illyria; it was as though it had never happened. It seemed unfair. There should be a memory of his actions permeating the very air. Some eternal marker proclaiming here fell the hero. A generation, maybe two, who would remember? Then she thought of Angel, alone in his grief, deliberately alienating everyone who cared, as he tried to make Spike's death count. Who was the real hero? Was it easier to be the one to throw it away in one courageous feat or to be the one left to carry on, alone and friendless, caught in a never ceasing struggle? Both were heroic but one was damned sight harder.

She should know, she'd done both and nearly lost herself in the challenge of the mundane, the everyday struggle.

Willow interrupted her reverie.

"The earth here has remained unchanged. There is the feel of Drogyn as he's moved amongst his charges. An echo of our first visit, recent violence and blood, which must be Drogyn and his would-be assassins, also..." She stopped.

"You found something?"

"No. Well, the only thing new and alien here are...his ashes."

"Oh." There was a lump in her throat. "This journey has all been for nothing hasn't it?"

Willow knew she was talking of their search for Spike.

"Maybe. I don't know. Let's get away from here. We'll take some time out. I'm sure Wesley won't mind if we stay a day or two. We'll go to London, catch the sights?"

Buffy sighed. "Ok, but don't get your hopes too high. I've been there before remember. It's just another city."

-

As soon as Lorne joined them Wesley gave them the update from Buffy and Willow.

"They can't find any proof of Angel's involvement but that doesn't signify his innocence, perhaps it related to some piece of information personal to Drogyn. You have to remember that they've met on previous occasions."

Gunn confirmed this view. "When we first met Drogyn at the Well it was plain that they knew each other."

"If Angel is turning away from his mission and searching for power we should be trying to do something. He would hate what he's becoming." Fred said. "We have to help him - he'd do the same for us no matter what we'd done. He must be suffering so much. Spike always feared that this place would kill him by degrees."

"Ok. Some action, now you're talking." Gunn said.

-

As Angel entered his office Gunn stepped out from his position behind the door and slammed it shut. Wesley, Fred and Lorne moved forward and he found himself surrounded by the gang, each of them bearing weapons.

"What is this?" He demanded.

"We know what you've been doing. Giving up the baby to the Fell Brethren, working for Senator Bitch, trying to take out Drogyn to cover up what you did to Spike. And for what? To get in bed with the powers that run things here?" Gunn said.

"Oh. You finally figured it out." Angel replied twitching his brows up as though indicating that they were particularly slow.

"What do you think you're doing, Angel." Fred asked.

"I'm conducting business and if you don't like the way I do business then I guess you should leave. Before I kill you too."

"Kill us?"

"Just telling it like it is."

"Then we have a problem." Wesley summed up.

"I guess we do." Angel agreed pleasantly, simultaneously lunging for Wesley's shotgun. Gunn raised his sword but Angel managed to block the blow. Fred stepped back and released a bolt from her crossbow, causing Angel to drop the shotgun. Lorne raised his tranquilliser gun but Angel grabbed Fred around the neck, using her as a shield.

"Fred. Pull this out of me."

Fred carefully took hold of the wooden bolt and tugged it free.

"Are we done?" He asked.

Wesley and Gunn were momentarily stunned by this turn of events. Angel took the opportunity to produce something from his pocket. He released Fred and said.

"Ok. We have six minutes."

They looked at him in confusion.

"I've put a glamour on us. To anyone watching it will look as though we're still fighting. I know you don't trust me but we don't have long so just let me explain. Right?"

"Why should we believe you?"

"Read any good books recently Wes?"

"It was you gave me the message and showed me the symbol." Wesley realised.

"Yes, it was. When I joined Wolfram and Hart, I was told about the Order of Black Thorn. They are the Senior Partners power in this world. I'd always thought it might be possible to infiltrate the group. The first thing I had to do, to prove I was serious, was sign away my right to Shanshu."

"Angel, no!" Wesley protested.

"It's ok Wes. I don't fight this fight for the reward at the end. I fight because I want to help. Convincing them that I was power hungry and evil was more difficult. When Spike died." Angel almost stumbled but he took a breath and continued. "When he died I decided to use it, make it worth something. I sent the assassins to Drogyn."

"So that much was true." Gunn said.

"Yes. I knew he would defeat them and they would confess to their reason for being there."

"To supposedly cover up evidence of your involvement in Spike's death." Fred said thoughtfully.

"It worked. Today I was initiated into the Order of Black Thorn. I have the name of every member and I'm going to destroy them all."

They were astounded by the breadth of his scheme.

"This isn't a long term solution or a war to end wars. It will inconvenience them for a short while but it won't take long before their places are filled and the machine is back in motion. All we have is one bright and shining moment to prove to them that they don't own the show here on earth, that there are people still willing to fight the battles even if the war is beyond them."

"What will happen?" Fred asked. "After you've killed them, what will happen?"

"I think they're going to release the hoards of hell to see me dead...so who's with me?"

They were, once again, stunned into speechlessness.

"Well...I guess." Fred replied raising her hand.

"It's a suicide mission." Wesley said looking at Fred in anguish.

"I know, Wes. A few weeks ago I thought I was going to die, some stupid pointless death. I want to live. You know how happy I've been recently." She smiled shyly at him. "But I'm being given a chance to choose the nature of my death and this is the mission I choose."

Wesley slowly raised his hand, just because life without her would be no life at all.

"I'm with you, Boss. Who wants to live forever anyway?" Gunn asked as he raised his hand.

"I kind of did." Lorne replied, but finally raised his hand.

-

Buffy and Willow kept watch from their hotel room. The sun was going down and nightfall approaching.

"Are you sure this was the place?" Buffy asked as she looked down on the quiet street.

"This is it, I'm certain."

"I've got to say, slayer senses not exactly tingling to the vampire vibe."

"Maybe I was wrong but honestly, I don't think so. It was so strong and definite."

Buffy let Willow catch up on her sleep, whilst she watched the road beneath, examining everyone as they slipped between brightly lit pools of light, beamed from the overhead street lamps.

At about 6.00 am Willow began to stir.

"It's morning." Buffy said her voice flat with disappointment.

"Oh Buffy. I'm sorry. What do you want to do? Spend another night here?"

"I don't know, I guess. I'll order breakfast, I always think better on a full stomach. What would you like?"

Willow stretched in the morning sun, it was another clear day.

"Hmmm. I think I'd like...oh my goddess, Spike!"

Buffy rushed to the window.

It was Spike as she'd never seen him before. Illuminated by the cool light of the rising sun.

"How? It's daylight!"

"Willow...he's human." Her voice was coloured with wonderment.

"That's why my first spell didn't find him, it was a version of the demon finding spell."

"And Angel said he'd know if Spike was alive, he said it was demonic, sire and childe...but there's no longer a demon."

They watched and suddenly Spike crumpled to the ground, clutching his head in an all too familiar way.

"He's still having visions. He's human, Buffy. They'll kill him."

Buffy flung on her clothes.

"We've been sent here for a reason. Let's go." -

Wesley had searched through the books for a version of the glamour that Angel had used. He'd finally found something that he thought would suffice. Now here he was inside the slayer house with Giles and Andrew. He activated the glamour.

"Giles. We need you to gather the slayers here as quickly as possible. All hell is about to break loose."

"Another apocalypse?" He too had noticed they seemed to happen this time of year.

"More than that. It's the system behind the apocalypse. I've cast a glamour, we have a short time for you to hear my story make a decision and make any necessary calls before all our actions become transparent again."

"We understand. Please continue."

They listened to his story.

"So that explains his behaviour."

Giles considered. They needed to make an immediate decision, one that he wouldn't normally make without consulting Buffy and Willow. In the end Andrew answered.

"Do we have a choice?" Andrew asked fearfully. "Hell is going to be calling at our city. We need to prepare for it."

Giles nodded, he was right there was no choice to this.

"I'll make the calls now. We'll gather the girls at Angel's. It's the only place with enough space for them all."

"Thank you, Giles." Wesley's gratitude was profuse. Some of them might actually get out of this alive.

-

Angel arrived for his training session but the slayers were in a chatty informal mood.

"You don't really know us yet, so we've decided to have a party. A sort of getting to know you party."

Angel looked at them in horror.

"Yeah. Sounds great and you know if I'm not busy..."

"That's excellent. Your house tonight. We'll bring our own food and drink."

"My house! Of course, I'd love to but not really equipped for guests yet."

"Its ok, we understand."

Angel breathed a sigh of relief.

"We don't care about the state of the house. So we'll see you about eight?"

Angel was sure he said no but somehow they were all still arriving at his house this evening. He went to find Giles to complain.

"Oh really Angel. Don't be such a baby. Personally, I'm looking forward to it."

"Not you too." He said shaking his head in disappointment.

"It will be just what you need, you'll see. Be sure to invite the rest of your team."

"I don't think they'll feel like partying." Angel replied morosely.

"Ask them, they might surprise you."

-

When his team responded enthusiastically to the party he finally guessed that it had less to do with partying and more to do with the privacy his house offered. It looked like he had allies but he'd have to wait for tonight to find out the details. He told the gang to take the day off and enjoy it as if it were their last. He watched Fred take Wes by the hand and lead him away.

Angel made a call and met his son for coffee.

"So is the world ending?" Connor asked.

"Sorry?"

"I'm having coffee with my Dad. The world must be ending."

"You know?"

"That you're my father? Yes I know. And I know what you did for me. All those memories feel unreal, they have a nightmarish quality. This is the life you gave me. I'm sitting exams and going to college."

Angel felt tears pricking his eyes as they had their first normal conversation since...ever.

He watched his son leave, a small satisfied smile playing around his mouth. There was one thing left to do in his last day. He went back to the house to summon up the imaginary image of his childe and spend the last few hours of this life with him.

He wandered through the rooms just as they had on that first day when Spike had brought him here, so full of plans for the future. The training room was still a ballroom. The house was unfurnished and empty but at the same time it filled him. He put on the CD that Spike had chosen as a gift and the first song echoed through the house.

'I will go down with this 'ship, I won't put my hands up and surrender...'

Spike had been wrong. This first track was about them. Not Buffy. Through one hundred years of estrangement, through death and Angel still couldn't let go.

He looked out across the darkening grounds and imagined Spike coming towards him.

"Wherever you are, I'll be with you soon childe."

He heard a door creak and scented the air. A human intruder. Familiar but he couldn't quite place it.

He moved to the top of the stairs and looked down on a human male.

"What are you doing in my house?"

The man raised his head and his blue eyes pierced Angel to the soul.

"I'm sorry. These two bints more or less kidnapped me. They said this is where I needed to be. Do you think maybe they were lunatics?"

"Spike?"

"Yeah. They kept calling me that. Name's Will."

-

Gunn was back in his old neighbourhood, helping Annie load the van with furniture.

"So how are things going?"

"Not bad, got some decent donations recently so we're opening a new shelter."

"Yeah?"

"Uh huh. It's going pretty good, even got trained psychiatric help; you know how they are here. The runaways, the crack addicts, the abuse victims always more problems than the surface ones."

"Supposing I said none of what you do helps? That it's all in the hands of a few powerful corrupt beings."

"I'd say, let's get this furniture moved and try to help the next person who needs it."

Gunn felt reassured. He fought the big battle so that people like Annie had a chance to fight the everyday evils.

"So do you still get many vamps?" He asked.

-

Angel sat on the top stair.

"Are you real? Yes, of course you are, I can hear the blood rushing around your veins. You don't know who I am?"

The man cocked his head to one side in such a familiar gesture.

"No. I've never met you." He hesitated and then said quietly, "But I do know you."

"What do you mean?"

"I have fits, where I see things, normally violent and gruesome but I have a reoccurring one and you're in it. Those girls told me they were visions not fits."

"What do you see?"

"I see me. But not as I am now. More powerful and certain. You turn to me and smile and say, welcome home, Spike. Which I always found odd because my name is William."

He dropped his eyes obviously confused and embarrassed by what he'd said.

"Ironic. It all began with you losing your memories and here we are again. Full circle."

"I have my memories." He protested.

"Really? Tell me, where are you now?"

"L.A."

"No."

"Your house?"

"Just tell me what's in your heart. Where are you?"

William looked around and breathed deep.

"I'm home." He replied.

"You're home. And what am I supposed to do with you now, William?"

"Nothing. I've come here to die."

-

Lorne went down the steps into Caritas. He'd had power at Wolfram and Hart. He'd had famous names hanging on to his every word. Celebrities waiting on the line for a few words with him. But it meant nothing. This is where he'd been happiest. Listening to the hearts and souls of everyday demons.

He went to the bar and ordered a Sea Breeze mixed to perfection. It was daytime and the bar was virtually empty. He picked up his drink and moved to the microphone and thought about the world he'd found himself in. A violent world, with no place for someone so innately peaceful as himself.

He began to sing.

'If I ruled the world, Every day would be the first day of spring, Every heart would have a new song to sing, And we'd sing of the joy every morning would bring...'

-

"What?"

"The fits, I mean visions, are getting worse. The doctors just up my painkiller prescription, there's nothing else they can do. There's no guarantee that I'll survive the next one."

Angel sat back to process everything he'd heard and seen. Spike had won Shanshu and it was nothing but a hollow sham. Some bloody cosmic joke. He could have howled with fury. Less than three weeks. That was all Spike had been given of genuine human life, the rest was all false memory and illusions.

"Do you know what that reoccurring vision meant? It meant that I turn you back into a monster."

"Is that what you are?" William asked. It was reminiscent of his first memory loss when he struggled to understand this world he found himself in.

"Yes. As a human you can be redeemed. I'm a vampire, a monster, I can't."

"So I've come here to die. It's as I thought."

Angel rose and walked down the stairs towards him. He couldn't resist reaching out to touch his warm, sun-burnished skin.

"Do you like being human? Do you enjoy walking in the sun?"

"It's all I know. I have nothing to compare it to." William answered as he watched cold white fingers trail up his arm.

"I had the choice and I chose this." He put a hand to William's neck to feel the pulse of blood through his veins.

"I'm sorry. But in my other life, were we intimate?"

"Of course. We were sire and childe...oh you mean...no, we were never...intimate...well just that one time..." Angel trailed off in embarrassment. "It's just that I've never seen you like this. Pink and glowing, full of warm human blood."

"Bloody hell. You're really going to drink my blood aren't you?"

"You're safe. I've been on a strict diet for the last hundred years. Well, one or two slip ups, but you're safe."

"Right. Oh...uh...vampire-person...?"

"Angel." He supplied.

"Angel. Vision."

Angel grabbed him as he fell. There was blood streaming from his nose and his eyes were rolled back. This was far worse than anything he'd seen with Cordelia. He felt something on his face and wiped at it. Blood. He'd now smeared it across his cheek and on to his mouth. A taste of it passed between his lips and suddenly the world folded away as he was drawn in to William's vision.

-

Fred led Wesley to her apartment. He gently kissed her and she closed her eyes. He kissed the lids of her eyes, her cheek and followed the line of her jaw to the pulse in her neck. She moaned softly as she felt his stubble brush her tender skin, sensitising it to every touch.

She opened her eyes and gazed at this proud and tender man. She gently traced the contours of his face, as she looked into his startling, penetrating eyes.

"My God. Winifred Burkle you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He whispered his voice tinged with awe just to be in her presence.

"I love you so much, Wesley. Why did we wait this long. We could have had all this time..."

"There has always been one crisis, swiftly followed by another." He smiled at her and then his face turned serious as his eyes dilated almost to black. "But that's no excuse. I've been a fool, my love, my Fred."

His kisses became rawer and hungrier. Fred opened her mouth to them devouring all that he could give and then repaying them with a ferocious passion as she felt his body hardening and responding to her. She moved a hand under his shirt to touch his smooth skin and feel the flex of hard muscle as her curious fingers moved over his body.

"Need you, Wes." She whispered.

"You have me, Sweetheart."

-

It was more than a vision. Angel blinked in the bright light as he found himself looking towards the representatives of the Powers That Be. William was standing before them, his mouth agape in wonder.

"We have summoned you before us." The male aspect announced.

"We give you a choice." The female intoned.

"Right. Yeah. I mean...a choice?"

"We can remove your visions and let you live out a normal span, in peace and contentment."

"Or we can let the Champion claim you again. You will have a life of violence and death, as you continue to fight evil at his side."

"Is this a trick question? Because so far, not that much of a choice."

"No tricks."

"I can't remember how it was, how can I make a choice if I don't fully understand the options?"

"You speak truly. We will show you what you were."

Spike closed his eyes and began to convulse on the floor before them. Angel was about to rush to him but the female caught him in her gaze and held him there.

"No." She commanded.

When William next opened his eyes there were tears falling from them.

"I did all that? I killed all those people?" His revulsion hung in the air.

"You did. You have also saved people. We await your choice."

"Not even two years. I've been changed less than two years. How does that make up for the 120 years? Why do I deserve this offer of a new life?"

Neither answered.

"The choice is yours." the male told him, clearly becoming impatient.

"There is no choice." William said sadly. "The human life is nothing is it? A temporary shield from the horrors I've committed."

He looked at them. "I make my choice. I choose atonement. I choose violence and death. I will become the monster I know myself to be."

"The Champion may approach."

Angel found himself released from whatever force had held him.

"Will you claim this man as childe once more?"

"Is this really your choice?" He asked.

William nodded.

"Will he keep his soul?" Angel asked.

"The soul is part of his body. It cannot be removed."

"I claim this man as my childe. Before the Powers That Be, I claim him."

"Then take him."

Angel let his vampiric features emerge. William stared into his golden eyes.

"I won't hurt you, boy." He promised.

"Just do it." William whispered fiercely.

Angel inhaled for the last time the scent of his humanity, enjoyed the sound of the rushing blood. He let his sensitive fangs rest on the pulse in his neck, and felt the steady thump reverberate through his teeth until his own body sang to it. Then he pierced the skin and allowed the warm, coppery blood to flow and enter his mouth in pulsing waves that kept time with the rhythm of his heart. It was exhilarating. Spike would be his natural childe. Not claimed or adopted. His.

As he drank he saw the life that William had been given tumble away, the false memories had no depth and gradually older more permanent memories began to travel with the blood, as this man slowly transformed into Spike. Angel caught the eye of the female who was watching them closely and seemed to hear her voice in his head.

"This is always what Shanshu was to be. Not the end but the means. This is your reward, Champion. You will have a companion, a soul mate to the end of days." Angel saw in his minds eye a path stretching out in front of them it was dark and twisted but he and Spike walked it together and somewhere in the far distance the path disappeared into perfect shining white light.

"This was the purpose of Shanshu. It was the doorway to a road and the road leads to completion; to the flawless heart of the universe. You had already placed your feet on that road and now your childe will stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you as he takes his first steps along the road to the perfect light."

"I thought I'd signed away all hope."

She smiled. "Haven't you learnt there is always hope? We have given you and your childe a gift. The spell the witch cast on your home has been augmented. You and those you claim as yours may find protection there. We will see you again, Champion."

She faded from his mind and from his sight.

He found himself lying at the foot of the stairs, holding a dying Spike. His heartbeat had slowed to almost nothing. Angel hastily bit into his wrist and placed it to Spike's mouth, allowing him to take as much of his powerful blood as he could manage. Vampires normally made their childer weak. He had no intention of doing this to him. Some minutes later Spike's mouth finally slipped away from his wrist as the last flicker of life left his body.

Angel carefully carried the body down stairs and left it in the dark interior of the basement. He returned upstairs and fed well. Spike had nearly drained him and he would need his strength for tonight.

At eight o'clock everyone descended on him.

Willow and Buffy were the first to corner him. But he wanted to keep Spike's return as a surprise. He told them the truth as far as it went.

"Thank you for bringing him home. He's safe but can we talk about this later? Then you can tell me everything."

"Ok. We've trusted you a lot recently. Guess we're not about to stop now." Buffy agreed.

Giles had already managed to fly in about sixty slayers. He reported that more were flying in through the night.

"I thought after you'd dealt with the Black Thorn members, we'd be needing help in the following fight."

"I hate to do this to them. They're so young."

"They're trained warriors, Angel. Every one of them." Buffy replied. "We exist for moments like this."

"When are you going to carry out your plan?"

"It's begun." Angel replied. "But I need some help."

He allotted the tasks.

-

Fred and Wes killed two of the baby's servants and clothed themselves in the robes of the Fell Brethren. They took the baby, whilst Angel made a move on the Grand Potentate.

-

Willow and Buffy entered the house of Cyvus Vail. Willow's magic veiled his guards' eyes so they noticed nothing. They entered his room and Willow threw a fireball at him. Vail laughed. "You think you have the power to challenge me, Witch." He asked, casually catching her fireball and throwing it back at her. He turned to Buffy. "And what do you plan to do, little girl." He sneered.

Buffy threw a powerful punch that caved in one side of his delicate skull.

"Pretty much that." She replied.

-

Izzy and three other members stepped out of their car. To find themselves surrounded by eight armed slayers. Izzy was dead before he could even blink.

-

Gunn moved in on the vampires that surrounded the senator. This was his forte, this was his life. It was back to his roots. He approached the one he recognised, the one that had demanded virgin's blood and with a smile and a quick movement thrust a stake through his heart. This left Lorne to take care of the Senator, a creature from hell that now possessed this too human body. He took out a gun and shot it twice in the head.

-

The Grand Archduke Sebassis called for a drink. His puny slave came forward and drew him one from the tap on his own vein. Sebassis took a mouthful and closed his eyes to savour it. He finished the whole glass and then began to cough and choke. Someone had poisoned his slave and spiked his drink.

-

Angel, Wesley and Fred were first back. Angel waited in agitation. Fred tended an injured Wesley. When others eventually arrived, Gunn was injured and Fred cleaned and stitched his wounds too. Lorne didn't return.

"He killed the Senator and then threw away the gun. He said he'd done his part and you couldn't ask for more." Gunn explained.

"He did well." Angel replied "He's an empath, he was never meant to be a warrior."

Giles and Andrew had been travelling to and fro from the airport and there were now well over one hundred slayers gathered.

"What do we do now?" Giles asked.

"Now I talk." Angel said.

He called for everyone's attention.

"Very soon we will be in a battle with demons from various hell dimensions. You may not recognise the species. If we get the chance Giles, Wesley or myself will try to give you advice but the general rule is decapitation will kill most demons. They will not be organised, they will be a disparate group and from what I've seen of hell, all with their own grudges and hostilities. If fighting breaks out between them, let them kill each other and move on."

"The fight will be here on our own ground. We chose this place for a reason, everything within the boundaries is aligned to me, Spike and the people we claim. You slayers all belonged to Spike, you have our protection. Wesley, Gunn, Fred, Lorne you're mine, you may not have realised it but I'd already claimed you. Giles and Andrew..."

"Spike saved my life at the expense of his own, does that count as a claim?"

Angel nodded.

"I'm not sure if Spike claimed me or not. We were friends." Giles said.

"It's not in a vampire's nature to have human friends. You're his. Buffy..."

"Ok. I know. I've been claimed by you both. Double the protection I guess?"

"Willow..."

"It's ok Angel. I belong to no one and can protect myself." Angel nodded his agreement.

"We've never truly put this protection to the test. I can't be sure what form it will take. Just don't be shocked by anything that happens. It's there to help you."

"How long will we have to wait?"

"They'll just now have realised what has happened. They'll regroup and the order to attack will be sent out. We have minutes maybe an hour at the most. So everyone gather up your weapons. This is our moment. Tonight we brought the fight to their very doors. Now they bring it to ours."

"See?" Willow whispered. "Nice speech. Short, to the point, punchy ending."

Portals began to open and the legions from hell poured forth.

They were prepared and gathered to meet this force.

"Uh, plan of attack?" Wes asked nervously.

"Kill every demon you can."

They charged forward and the battle began in earnest.

"Wes, have you noticed what's happening?" Fred called as she fired her shotgun again.

Wesley had been too involved in his own battles to really notice much around him, other than keeping an eye on Fred.

"The land abhors them. The trees are sending out roots and binding their feet. Others are being stabbed through by branches. Creepers are growing up and entangling them. I think the very air is weighing heavy on them, slowing them down."

Wesley looked around. She was right. Nature itself was turning against the demons.

"It's helping but there's too many of them, Fred. We'll tire before they run out of legions. There must be hundreds maybe a thousand of them.

Buffy plucked a post from the ground and used it to stab the large demon charging towards her. The speed of his charge drove the post right through his stomach and he fell to the ground, writhing in pain. She felt a tap on her shoulder and an equally large demon grunted at her, "I buy."

"I'm sorry?" She asked in bemusement. "Fight to the death here, not a shopping trip."

He pointed to the post and Buffy realised that the fallen demon was now advertising the fact that trespassers would be sold as slaves. She'd stabbed him with one of Spike's idiot trespass signs.

"He my enemy. My rival. I buy."

Angel approached. "What's your offer?"

"Me commander. You give. I withdraw."

"How many do you command?"

"A legion."

"One hundred? Not enough. We kill you all."

The large demon looked slyly at them.

"Him four legions. You sell. I command them too. I withdraw all."

Angel nodded.

"He's yours."

Buffy eyed the demon with deep suspicion.

"If I see you or any of your legions, this will be you. Understand?"

She tapped Spike's other sign. "Vandals will be sold as eunuchs."

The demon winced and nodded. "I go." He agreed and left, dragging his purchase behind him.

A call went up around the battlefield. Demons pulled their blows mid thrust and retreated back through a portal.

"What in hell's happening?" Gunn asked.

"Angel negotiated a deal with one of the commanders." One of the slayers answered.

"My God! I think we might actually win tonight." Wesley said and then wished he hadn't. As he finished his sentence a dragon appeared from one of the portals, breathing fire before him.

At the same moment a figure appeared from the house, garbed in black, with a bright halo of blonde hair.

A whisper went up around the grounds and spread like wildfire. A refrain that passed from person to person. A name dropped from lips as they hurled themselves into battle.

A slayer grinned, at her opponent; her joy could hardly be contained. She fought as though fresh to the fight. Her movements flowed with energy and power as she released her joy into the fight.

"You cannot win demon."

He grinned back. "What has changed, Little One?"

"Spike has returned." She thrust with her sword and the demon collapsed.

"Who is Spike?" He whispered.

"Our leader." She replied to the dying demon and swung around to face her next opponent.

Spike emerged from the house to see what all the noise was about and found himself confronted by a dragon the size of a normal house.

"Bloody hell!"

Angel spotted him and grinned. "Welcome home, childe."

"You could have told me to bring my axe."

"Here take mine." Angel threw it across to him.

"Never taken on a dragon before. Come on, Mate. Show me what you've got."

The dragon's great face turned towards him. It opened its jaws and let out a roar. Balls of flames billowed towards Spike. He rolled to one side but at the same time a gust of wind blew against the direction of the flames sending them back towards the dragon. Once they'd died down Spike leapt towards it and buried his axe in its neck. The dragon reared up and Spike was left dangling in the air, clinging grimly to his axe.

Angel let out a snarl, picked up a sword and charged the dragon, hacking at its body. As it lowered its head Spike let go of the axe and dropped to the ground. He called for a weapon and was handed a short sword. As the reptilian face came towards him, its jaws wide and prepared to snap him in half, Spike danced gracefully to one side and bounded on to its snout, thrusting the sword into an eye. He gave a flying leap to land well clear, as the dragon roared and writhed in pain.

Meanwhile, Angel had positioned himself beneath the dragon and as it sank to the ground, its own weight forced the sword deep into its chest. He dived out from under it leaving his sword behind but wasn't able to clear the dragon's body in time. Spike shouted his name, gripped him underneath the arms and tugged. Finally he was free.

"Is it dead?" Angel asked.

"Not yet. Mortally wounded I'd say."

"That was exhilarating."

"Next time I'm going to wake in the middle of a bloody battle, do me a favour and give a bloke some warning. I mean I'd just got up and was still rubbing sleep from my eyes, when that thing appeared in front of me."

"Yeah, Ok. But it was fun wasn't it?"

Spike looked at his face, glowing from the heat of battle.

"Yeah. It was bloody good fun, Peaches. And not done yet by the looks of things."

"You think this looks like a battle? Should have seen what we had an hour ago. Never mind, you caught the best bit."

They swung back into the fight.

Their enemies dwindled and they could feel the cold morning light approaching.

"We have to go." Spike said.

"I don't think our home would let us get burnt." Angel said looking around affectionately at contorted trees wrapped around the bodies of demons unlucky enough to be caught within their embrace.

"Lets not test it today." Spike also looked around.

Everywhere there were demon bodies being reclaimed by the earth. Moss grew over them, others disintegrated as they were eaten away by termites and other insects. Bodies were tangled and held in the undergrowth, clasped in the cracks of tree trunks, bound by root or pierced by branch.

"Have we got a garden of Ents?" Spike asked, sounding almost hysterical.

"Tolkien based his books solidly in old myths and legends. These could well be his Ents." Giles answered.

"The Powers That Be enhanced the protective nature of Willow's spell."

"Damn." Willow said. "And I thought it was all me."

The portals finally closed and everyone retreated to the house.

"I'm sorry. No furniture. A few blankets. The sheets can be used as bandages."

"Everyone is so weary. I think we'll all be sleeping where we drop." Giles replied. "By the way, it's good to have you back but could you please stop doing this. Even I'm starting to have abandonment issues."

The sheets were torn into strips and the uninjured began to tend to the wounded. Those who had died were laid out in honour. Their names were recorded and their exploits written, so that future generations would never forget the ones that gave their lives to take on hell.

"We've lost all records of previous slayers." Giles said sadly. "Their deeds and bravery destroyed and lost forever. So we start again." He talked to everyone and wrote up their accounts in his neat flowing handwriting.

Spike's eight slayers came across and stood silently before him. They were looking tired, bruised and bloodied.

"Hey. You bints alright?" He asked in concern.

"No." Kirsty replied. "Don't leave us again."

"Wherever I am, I'm always with my girls. You know that. Mine, yeah?"

"We looked after him. Whilst you were away."

"Knew I could trust you."

The day passed and Spike began to feel like he was holding audience as different people cautiously approached him. He made time for everyone who wanted to talk. When Willow and Buffy came forward he hugged each of them. But sounded slightly aggrieved as he said, "I still have the memories of what you did to me."

"Yeah? " Buffy breathed in his ear. "Not all of them bad, I hope?"

Willow grinned knowingly.

"You are bad, slayer." Spike smiled slightly as he chastised her. "I take it that was a one off thing, just to get me here?"

"I'm going back to Rome tomorrow. I want to see Dawn and try to pick up some sort of normal life again."

"Yeah. I know. But if I'd remained human would you have stayed? Settled down with me, done the whole wife and kiddies thing?"

"If you'd remained human, I swear it would have been you, Spike."

He wasn't sure if he believed her or not but he decided to take it at face value.

"Thanks Buffy. I had a great day."

"Yeah. Me to. Anyway, I have to leave this place..." she frowned. "You know, you really need to name this house. I mean Spike and Angel's place is a bit long winded."

"It is, isn't it?" Willow agreed. "Funny enough Xander said the same thing."

"Hey, Peaches. They want us to name our home."

Angel joined them, "I've never really thought about it. You know, it's just been home."

"Xander actually emailed a suggestion. I thought it was quite sweet."

"I find that a little difficult to believe. It'll be something like 'Deadboy's House'." Angel grouched.

"No. It was 'Our Souls' Home'."

Angel frowned.

"Assholes Home?" He asked.

"Oh and that looked so much better on the screen than it sounds out loud. He is so dead for that." Willow said blushing furiously.

"Tell the whelp, good one. Gotta admit he got you there, Red." Spike grinned.

"We'll think of a better name." She promised.

"Anyway, we really have to go." She gave both vampires a hug.

Buffy came forward and also hugged them.

"Love you both." She said as she left.

They walked towards the gate.

"So Willow, can you tell yet? Am I really going to be pregnant?"

Willow smiled. "Guarantee it, Sweetie."

"Good. Because it's strange, but I'm already starting to envisage a cute little, blue-eyed, blonde haired boy or possibly a girl..."

"Aren't you worried what Angel will say?"

"He already has his son and it was this thing with Angel that made me realise. They need as many ties to this world as possible. We're not always going to be here for them, Willow. Now they'll both have family to care for and to care for them."

-

Spike could see Andrew skulking around not quite daring to approach.

"Hey, whelp? What's new?"

Andrew came forward.

"Nothing really. I've been learning to speak Italian. I was thinking I might move out there. Giles has been teaching me, he thinks I could be an excellent scholar." All the time he spoke his eyes never left Spikes face and in the end his voice broke, as he could no longer keep up his stream of chatter.

"I'm sorry, Spike." He bent his head.

"Look. Some things are just meant to be, you probably had little more control of your actions than a puppet." He grimaced slightly at that analogy. "It's ok."

"No, it's not. I'm ridiculous and stupid and an idiot and...no one else would have done anything that stupid. Just me."

"Yeah, they would. It's the sort of thing I would do. It's curiosity - it's what keeps life interesting. We can't help it. Always seems to end in trouble."

Andrew sniffed.

"Go get some sleep. I saw you in battle. You did well."

Andrew didn't know whether to smile or cry.

Angel watched him discreetly and finally came forward, smiling at his new childe.

"You ok?"

"You know, it's a little overwhelming."

"Are you hungry?"

"Ravenous. You realise it's getting dark again. Another few hours and our army of starving troops are gonna begin to stir."

"Uh huh. Come shopping with me? We'll go clear out Wal-Mart again."

"Can't we just order take out?"

"Of course. Although that means no cigarettes and no Cocoa Pops."

"But I left nearly a whole box!"

"Yeah. Very tasty they were too." Spike couldn't decide if he was kidding or not and finally gave a humph of disgust.

"Is this why you turned me? You wanted someone to help carry the shopping?" He grumbled as they headed to the door.

Angel grinned happily.

"No. I turned you because you are my reward,"

Spike looked at him and shook his head.

"You poor sod. All those years and this is what you get. You've been done."

"Did you see those final images, Spike?"

"The white light? Yeah, I saw."

"I don't think I could even consider making it there if you weren't by my side."

"We might have a long way to go, Angel. And that path looked pretty bleak in places."

"Not as bleak as where I've been."

"You won through."

"Just a battle. A small wound to the enemy, nothing fatal. Tomorrow they'll probably have all the cogs in their machine turning again."

"Yeah, but we've created its counterpart here. We have our witch, our wise men, and our army. For the first time we can meet them and the playing field has been levelled."

"I didn't think of that."

"Will we make it?" Spike asked.

"I don't know but I'm looking forward to trying. Thank you for making this choice, childe. For not leaving me alone."

"You need me, Peaches. Who else dares to laugh at you?"

"Or call me names?"

"Question your judgement?"

"Periodically torture me?"

"Exactly. I keep life interesting for you."

"And what do I do for you in return?" Angel wondered.

"Don't you know?"

Angel shook his head.

"You bring me home when I'm lost. Vampire, ghost or human – always the same. It's not this place that's my home. It's you. Wherever I am, you draw me home."

"Of course I do. I'm your Sire." Angel said proudly and dropped a quick affectionate kiss into his hair.

Spike sighed, content to be home at last.

THE END

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