What No One Else Could

Disclaimer: Joss owns Buffy and Spike, as well as the actual dialogue in this story.

Spoilers: The finale

A/N: This is purely subjective, my opinion only. I don’t claim to know the inner workings of Joss’s mind.

“Oh, bollocks.”

I can feel the power going through me. I can feel my soul, the light, and the energy. It’s incredible. The energy surges upward, making an opening, allowing sunlight into the cavern.

“Buffy!”

She looks over at me. She looks stunned.

The light energy flows into me and it pours from the amulet.

“Spike!”

Buffy hurries toward me. All around us the ubervamps begin turning to dust as the sunlight strikes them.

As Buffy comes to me, Faith takes charge.

“Everybody out, now!” She bellows.

The girls begin running out of the cavern, past me, up the steps, to freedom.

Buffy doesn’t run past me; she runs straight to me.

“I can feel it, Buffy.”

“What?”

She seems confused. I don’t know why. This is my gift, this is why I had to wear the amulet, someone with a soul, but stronger than human.

“My soul. It’s really there. Kinda stings.”

She looks away from me briefly, making sure the girls are getting out like they should.

But, she still doesn’t leave. I guess she wants to say goodbye.

It’s time to send her on her way.

“Go on then.”

“No, you’ve done enough. You can still...”

“No, you’ve beat them back. It’s for me to do the clean up.”

We both look up as a huge section of the cavern ceiling collapses not far from us. She has to get out of here. I’ve watched her die once. I can’t do it again. I hear Faith yell to her to come on.

“Gotta move, lamb. Think it’s safe to say, school’s out for bloody summer.”

“Spike!”

Stubborn chit. She never gives up until she gets her way. Hasn’t she figured out yet that I’m just as stubborn?

I throw my hands out to my sides to let her know that I’m not going anywhere.

“I mean it! I’ve gotta do this.”

I stand there, arms outstretched, expecting her to finally understand, I’m not bloody moving.

Then I feel her small hand, her fingers intertwining with mine. For a moment, I’m so stunned I can’t do anything but stare at our fingers. Then flames burst from the point of contact. The light energy is still flowing around and through me.

We stare at each other. Her eyes grow wide and fill with tears. I can see the feelings shimmering in her eyes.

Everything we’ve been through these past few months, the emotions, the way we’ve come to rely on each other, the strength we’ve gained from each other, the comfort we’ve found in each other’s arms, it’s all there in that look.

After all of the terrible things we’ve said and done to each other, I never thought I’d ever see her look at me like that. The only one I’ve ever seen her look at that way is...

Her eyes brighten.

“I love you.”

She does. I can see it. It’s not quite the way I love her. I’m not the one. Not yet. But if we’d had more time, I know we could have gotten there. She finally let go of the poof and let me in.

But I can’t do this to her. She finally has a chance now, thanks to Red’s mojo. She’s not the only one anymore. She doesn’t have to be alone. She can teach the others what she knows and let go of some of the burden. She can have that normal life she’s always wanted. She can have a regular job and a husband and kids. But she has to get out of here.

And she can’t hold onto a dead man, building a wall around her heart to protect a memory. She did it with Angel; I don’t want her to do that with me. I want to give her what no one else could.

“No. You don’t. But thanks for saying it.”

I give her a small nod and hope that she understands why I said that.

“Now go!”

I release my grip on her hand slightly and she pulls her hand away. The flames are immediately extinguished. I watch her run out. Everything is collapsing around us, but I know she can do it. My girl has the speed and the will to live. She’ll make it out alive.

I feel the power taking over my body. It’s getting stronger, hotter.

“I wanna see how it ends.”

I laugh, not just because I feel the need to laugh in the face of this final death, but at the irony.

I came here because I hoped the Hellmouth would heal Drusilla. I came here to kill the Slayer. And the first night that I fought her, just upstairs in the old high school, I told Angel that we don’t change.

Now look at me. Closing the Hellmouth for good. In love with the Slayer, sending her out of here to save her life. And here I stand, using the power of the soul I fought to earn to do those things. Talk about change. I laugh through the pain, then the light goes dark.

Review Story

Back to Fiction